Model Creative Writing Answers

Descriptive Writing

Task

Describe a busy market scene.

You could write about what you see, hear, smell, and feel. Focus on creating a vivid sense of place.

Grade 3 (Developing)18/40

The market was really busy.Very basic opening that names the subject but provides no sensory detail or atmosphere. The reader has no sense of being there. There were lots of people there and they were all walking around looking at things. There were stalls everywhere selling different things.

It was really loud because everyone was talkingThe detail 'loud' tells rather than shows. What does the loudness sound like? Specific sounds would bring this to life. and some people were shouting. A man was selling fish and itsmelled really badThis is the only sensory detail beyond sight. It names the smell but does not describe it - 'smelled bad' is vague.. There was also a lady selling cakes and they looked nice.

I walked around for a bit and then I bought some food.Simple narrative statement. The piece reads more like a recount of events than a descriptive piece. It was hot and tasty. The market was fun and I had agood time thereEnds with a general statement. No closing technique, no return to an image, no sense of the piece being shaped..

Examiner Commentary

This response shows basic awareness of the task but struggles to move beyond simple statements. The writing is heavily reliant on telling and lacks any figurative language. Sentence structures are entirely simple with no variety. To improve, the student should practise using sensory details and attempt similes or metaphors. Marks: 18/40.

What makes this a Grade 3 (Developing)?

Relies heavily on telling rather than showing ('really busy', 'smelled bad')
No figurative language - descriptions are entirely literal
Simple sentence structures with no deliberate variety
Reads more like a recount than a descriptive piece
Vocabulary is basic and repetitive ('really', 'nice', 'good')
No structural awareness - no deliberate opening, closing, or pacing

Narrative Writing

Task

Write about a time when everything changed.

You may wish to write about your own experiences or create a fictional narrative.

Grade 3 (Developing)16/40

One day my mum said we were moving house.Very basic opening that could be the start of any story. No attempt to engage the reader or create intrigue. I was really sad because I didn't want to go. I liked my school and I had lots of friends there.

We had to pack up all our stuff and put it in boxes.The writing reads like a list of events rather than a shaped narrative. It took ages and I was bored. My friend came round to say bye and we wereboth sadStates the emotion directly. What did the sadness look like? Showing through action or dialogue would be far more effective.. He said he would text me.

Then we got in the car and drove to the new house.It took a long time to get there.The journey - potentially the most emotional part - is skipped entirely. This is a missed opportunity. The new house was ok but it wasn't the same as my old one.I think everything changed after that.The ending is abrupt and offers no reflection or emotional depth.

Examiner Commentary

This response tells a basic story but struggles to develop it beyond a simple recount. The writing is almost entirely telling with no figurative language and no sentence variety. Key emotional moments are rushed or skipped. Marks: 16/40.

What makes this a Grade 3 (Developing)?

Reads as a simple recount rather than a shaped narrative
Almost entirely telling - emotions stated directly ('I was sad')
No figurative language or imagery attempted
Key emotional moments are rushed or skipped entirely
No sentence variety - all simple sentences of similar length
No distinctive voice or deliberate vocabulary choices

Key Techniques Annotated

These are the techniques that separate good creative writing from exceptional creative writing. Study how they are used in the grade 9 examples above.

Show, Don't Tell

Convey emotions through actions, sensory details, and imagery rather than naming them directly.

Grade 3: 'I was really sad.' Grade 5: 'I was shocked and upset.' Grade 9: 'The two words rearranged the furniture of my life.'

Motif / Symbolism

Repeat an image or object throughout to create cohesion and deeper meaning.

The mug appears in the opening and closing, carrying the weight of change and loss.

Varied Sentence Structures

Alternate between short, punchy sentences and longer, more complex ones for rhythm and emphasis.

'That was how I knew.' vs. 'I watched the houses peel away like layers of something I had not known was mine until it was taken.'

Circular Structure

End the piece by returning to an image, idea, or setting from the opening.

Both the descriptive and narrative grade 9 pieces use circular structures for a sense of completeness.

Precise Verbs

Choose specific, evocative verbs rather than generic ones to create vivid imagery.

'Presided' instead of 'stood'; 'peel away' instead of 'disappear'.

Restraint

Sometimes what you leave out is more powerful than what you include. Let the reader fill in the emotional gaps.

Jake hands over the photograph 'without speaking' - the silence says everything.

Descriptive Writing

Task

Describe a busy market scene.

You could write about what you see, hear, smell, and feel. Focus on creating a vivid sense of place.

Grade 3 (Developing)18/40

Examiner Commentary

What makes this a Grade 3 (Developing)?

Relies heavily on telling rather than showing ('really busy', 'smelled bad')
No figurative language - descriptions are entirely literal
Simple sentence structures with no deliberate variety
Reads more like a recount than a descriptive piece
Vocabulary is basic and repetitive ('really', 'nice', 'good')
No structural awareness - no deliberate opening, closing, or pacing

Narrative Writing

Task

Write about a time when everything changed.

You may wish to write about your own experiences or create a fictional narrative.

Grade 3 (Developing)16/40

Examiner Commentary

What makes this a Grade 3 (Developing)?

Reads as a simple recount rather than a shaped narrative
Almost entirely telling - emotions stated directly ('I was sad')
No figurative language or imagery attempted
Key emotional moments are rushed or skipped entirely
No sentence variety - all simple sentences of similar length
No distinctive voice or deliberate vocabulary choices

Key Techniques Annotated

These are the techniques that separate good creative writing from exceptional creative writing. Study how they are used in the grade 9 examples above.

Show, Don't Tell

Convey emotions through actions, sensory details, and imagery rather than naming them directly.

Grade 3: 'I was really sad.' Grade 5: 'I was shocked and upset.' Grade 9: 'The two words rearranged the furniture of my life.'

Motif / Symbolism

Repeat an image or object throughout to create cohesion and deeper meaning.

The mug appears in the opening and closing, carrying the weight of change and loss.

Varied Sentence Structures

Alternate between short, punchy sentences and longer, more complex ones for rhythm and emphasis.

'That was how I knew.' vs. 'I watched the houses peel away like layers of something I had not known was mine until it was taken.'

Circular Structure

End the piece by returning to an image, idea, or setting from the opening.

Both the descriptive and narrative grade 9 pieces use circular structures for a sense of completeness.

Precise Verbs

Choose specific, evocative verbs rather than generic ones to create vivid imagery.

'Presided' instead of 'stood'; 'peel away' instead of 'disappear'.

Restraint

Sometimes what you leave out is more powerful than what you include. Let the reader fill in the emotional gaps.

Jake hands over the photograph 'without speaking' - the silence says everything.